


Glue to Hold You Together

by crystalkei



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 23:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3151691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalkei/pseuds/crystalkei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke is a mess post Finn killing and Bellamy would literally giving tree himself to make her feel better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glue to Hold You Together

**Author's Note:**

> This thing is a mess like Clarke, AMIRITE?

“Get the fuck away from me,” she yelled, yanking her arm away from the random man in the crowd. Someone was always trying to paw at her for some detail of what had happened. Berating her for her choices or worse, they were thanking her. Leading the hundred was better than being anywhere near the top of the whole Ark leadership. She didn’t know how anyone managed it.   
  
As she stomped off, she saw Bellamy out of her periphery. She both wanted him to go away and desperately wanted him to stand next to her, to run interference, to just be silent next to her, to feel the strength he radiated and try to lean on him, like that might keep her standing.   
  
“You need something, Pri-, Clarke?” he asked. She noticed he was trying to stop calling her that. She appreciated it while still bristling anytime she heard it. Add it to the list of things tainted now.

“I’m fine. I’m going to bed,” she said curtly, trying to out pace him, but his legs were longer. 

“Yeah, sure,” he said while continuing to follow her. She stopped and faced him.   
  
“I can go by myself.”   
  
“Got it.” He folded his arms and took a step back.   
  
“What?” she snapped, looking around and seeing people staring at her.

“That’s my tent you’re heading into so shall I go sleep in yours? I don’t think your mom would be down with that.” 

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry.”   
  
“It’s fine.” She hated that he really wasn’t upset about it. 

“I don’t want to go back to mine, that’s probably why my feet just brought me here,” Clarke tried to explain. “I mean, I thought I was going to mine, but-“  
  
“But you haven’t really been sleeping anyways, so you’re a little off kilter. I know.” Bellamy was being entirely too understanding about the whole thing. It made her angry. She wasn’t broken. Not yet.   
  
“Fuck you,” she lashed out.   
  
“Again, not something I think you’re mom would be cool with. She’s not exactly my biggest fan.” He stood there with his face blank despite the small crowd that was gathering around trying to catch some gossip to spread around. Clarke scanned the crowd before balling up her fists in anger. She turned on her heel and disappeared into Bellamy’s tent. She knew he’d follow her but it was a few minutes before he actually did. She wondered if she’d pushed too far. It didn’t matter when he walked in.

“You done being angry or you want to hit me?”

“I recognize that I’m a mess. The last thing I need is you telling me,” she shot back.   
  
“Not here to tell you anything. I was being serious. Would it make you feel better?” he asked honestly and Clarke felt it like a punch in her own gut. She didn’t know what she was doing, everything moved too fast and too slow, she was a bundle of contradicting feelings so she could understand the shock on his face when she smashed into his lips. Clanging teeth and desperate breaths, and then he was gently pushing her away, hands on her arms. “I’d rather you hit me.”   
  
Clarke felt like she might cry. She bit her lip and took a deep breath.   
  
“It won’t make you feel better,” he whispered, hands still on her arms. That’s when she crumpled and he pulled her back to his chest.   
  
“You don’t know what will make me feel better,” she said sniffing and resisting the urge to sob.   
  
“We’ll get everyone back and then you can take some kind of mountain sabbatical and run away for a while. That will probably make you feel better,” he said as his hand rubbed her back.   
  
“I disagree, I think a couple of great orgasms would really get me stitched up,” she joked and he tensed. Of course, he wasn’t attracted to her. Plus who wanted to bang a black widow like her?  
  
“If you slept you might feel better, but I get that you don’t want to close your eyes.”   
  
“Can I sleep here?” She didn’t want to sleep with her mother who kept looking at her like she might shatter at any moment. At least Bellamy didn’t treat her  _that_  gently.  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got to go check on some things anyways.”   
  
“You can stay, I don’t want to toss you out of your tent,” she nervously responded. Pulling herself away from him, Clarke stood awkwardly.   
  
“I’ll go do the thing and then come back, okay?” She nodded and watched him go before turning to the cot. But the change of scenery hadn’t made it easier to sleep. She was wound tightly and every time she closed her eyes she saw blood all over her hands and she could never wash it off.  
  
Bellamy came in a while later, she heard him taking off his boots and she flipped up the blanket, making a spot for him.  
  
“I can sleep over here,” he said gesturing to a spot on the ground.   
  
“Are you kidding? If you’re gonna pull that crap I’m going to just find something to entertain myself for the rest of the night.” She hated the edge her voice had taken on but he seemed to understand her rapid mood swings and if anyone could handle them, it was Bellamy. Clarke pushed down the guilt that she was willingly pushing her shit on him.   
  
He seemed to waffle a minute but ended up lying down next to her. “Didn’t sleep at all?” he asked but didn’t wait for the answer. He knew. “I was gone two hours.”   
  
“Where were you?” she asked turning her head to see him lying on his back, looking at the ceiling. 

“Some of the guard, they’re itchy, several members have asked me stuff, I was just, I dunno, briefing them? On stuff that has happened with the grounders and even just the terrain, they’re trying not to be petrified, but they’re scared shitless.” He smiled a little at her.

“You’re a natural at that, you can even make the guard ready to fight anything,” she hoped maybe the honest compliment might act as a sort of apology for the way she was pushing against him almost constantly, since Finn.   
  
Bellamy shrugged and he looked at her for a moment. Searching her eyes for something she didn’t know. He reached over and tentatively ran his fingers from the top of her ear down her neck. She shivered at the touch and she saw him swallow. “I’m not him,” he said, voice strained.  Clarke couldn’t respond except to nod her understanding before he was kissing her.  But he didn’t kiss her long. She tried not to show her disappointment, thinking he’d roll over and go to sleep, but he pulled away for just a moment, his eyes were closed and he was breathing heavy, as if he was working up courage.   
  
And then he was on her again, this time kissing down her neck, palming her breasts through her tank top, he moved down her quickly, pushing her top up to reach the skin of her stomach, working his way lower with licks and open mouthed kisses all over her skin. He worked her pants off and then slid her panties off as she hissed. She wasn’t sure what he was doing, too caught up in the feel of him, but when he licked around her clit she cried out.   
  
Bellamy spread his hands over her stomach and continued working his tongue up and down her, and then around her clit, but Clarke was so tightly wound she was so close to falling over the precipice she reached for his hair, pulling on it, trying to will him to slow down so she could breathe, so the bliss could last just a little longer. She didn’t want to come back to reality, ever. He understood, how did he always do that?   
  
He pulled back, gently inserted a finger, working it in and out, and kissed softly along her inner thigh. Clarke sighed, letting her body come down a little. She closed her eyes and focused on the pressure that desperately begged to be released. She started to move her hips to meet his thrusts and Bellamy took the hint and returned his tongue to her clit, suckling her, then adding a second finger causing Clarke to writhe.

It was a clawing need to keep his tongue on her, she held his hair not allowing him to change the angle. She met his strokes and clenched around his fingers, then she tumbled over with a moan. Clarke closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, soaking up the release and feeling calm for the first time in days. She scrubbed her eyes and was surprised when Bellamy stood up. 

  
“What’s going on, are you leaving?” she asked trying not to sound harsh. He looked at her and seemed shy which was not at all something she’d seen on his face. Ever.   
  
Bellamy cleared his throat and wiped his face with his hand. “I gotta go, you can rest. I’ll be back in a little bit.”   
  
“Don’t you want to, I dunno, get your turn?” she asked confused and a little irritated.   
  
He shook his head. “This isn’t about me. Go to sleep. Or try.”   
  
“So, what, that was just a chore for you?” she snapped at him and he looked hurt for a split second before the mask she was used to seeing weeks ago, when they’d first hit the ground, slid into place.

“You wanted an orgasm to make you feel better, you feel better? Sure sounded like you feel better, so go to sleep.” It was like a command and she balked. 

“What the hell?” She sat up and glared at him.   
  
“Go to sleep, Clarke, or go back to your own tent and fight with your mom. I’m done fighting with you tonight.” She sat confused staring at him. He wouldn’t meet her eyes, he was just standing there, hands on his hips, ready to run.   
  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve taken everything out on you,” she found herself saying. “You don’t deserve it, I just knew, I just knew you’d take it. And that makes me horrible.”

“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t make it better. I make terrible decisions and this was a bad decision for me. But it was supposed to be a good decision for you, so just…” He didn’t finish but he finally looked at her and Clarke realized how terrible this all was. She’s used him and hurt him and this was just par for the course. She was a disaster, she was ruining people left and right.   
  
“Clarke,” he said pulling her out of her thoughts. “You’re not horrible.” She shook her head fervently. This was one of those things he was going to say to make her feel better and she didn’t want to feel better right now. She deserved to feel miserable.  “None of this is your fault. All this shit that’s come down on top of you, with Finn, with Anya, anything your mom is mad at you over, none of this is your fault.”   
  
“It is my fault. Finn did… _that_ …to all those people because of me.” She took a deep breath willing herself not to cry.   
  
“If you want to heap the guilt on yourself for taking anything out on me, that’s fine, but don’t you dare take on Finn’s bullshit. I was there. I was with him, I sent him off with a gun and with Murphy who we all know is useless.  _I_  knew he was unhinged. But even I’m not going to tear myself apart over it. I know how you’re thinking about yourself and you need to stop.”   
  
Clarke looked away, wiping a tear that escaped.   
  
“You don’t have to carry Finn’s weight. You did what you had to do for him, you were merciful, and he didn’t deserve any of that, but he was one of ours and you loved him so you took care of it. I get it. I understand. But don’t let this drown you. Your mom needs you, our friends in Mount Weather, they need you. And I need you. I’ll tell you over and over a thousand times that you aren’t a monster and you aren’t responsible for those deaths and the only person you need to answer to is me. Okay? Answer to me for those things and I say you’re good.”   
  
“Okay.” She nodded and he seemed to relax a little. She wasn’t sure she believed all of it but she’d take it for now. Clarke would let those words keep her glued together for a little while longer. “Thanks for that, and for the other thing, that was…” she tried to think of a good way to put it, “that was relaxing so thank you.”   
  
He snorted a little. “It wasn’t a chore, I’d offer it any time except I think it might get a little complicated for us right now.” Clarke gave him a small smile and he responded in kind.   
  
“Yeah, now seems like a bad time for that.” 


End file.
